Well it's been a while friends. When I started this blog, I told myself I was going to post more often. Let me tell you, with the current state of this world today, it's been hard for me to come to this space to share. It's been hard for me to even be on social media. I'm sure everyone can relate to this, that we're seeing things we don't agree with, and I'm really working on that 'not saying anything at all' thing that we've all heard from our moms, growing up. But I think it's a bit deeper than that, for me. Let me unpack that.
I'm a person of very, very deep feeling. My emotions are quite big, and while I know that I cannot let my emotions lead me, they are so big that it takes me a very long time to process them. Sometimes it can be paralyzing. I've really had to take a step back, to really see that these things are not something I need to worry about, even thought they are important. I won't go into these subjects, because right now in our society's political/emotional/whatever you want to call it climate, we as Americans are quite divided in many subjects. It is these subjects that as a very deeply emotional, intuitive soul, taking everyone's opinions in at once becomes too much. I just shared a very good post written by @feminine_not_feminist on Instagram in my stories that really encapsulates this feeling. And it really gave me some clarity. We do not have the emotional capacity, as humans, to feel everyone else's situations, on top of our own. It can be paralyzing. And this is where I was.
The truth of it, I had to step back, and give it to God. And today's verse of the day on my Bible app showed me exactly that. Matthew 6:34 (ESV) says "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble." It really revealed to me that through anything, God already has won. He has me under His wing. It's very hard for me to step back and really focus on what is important in the moment.
I am a person that has a hard time really seeing mundane, normal things as special. So seeing what is important in the here and now can be tough for me. This is another reason why I don't have the daily posts. Because I struggle to see that everyday magic as special. Which makes me miss out on so much, because I'm looking for special, and don't see it in the eyes of my kids doing their daily play. So I want to tell you that I do have things to share here. We've really been quite busy here at our house. Besides finishing up school, we had a greenhouse and chicken coop built for our hens, which I will share in another post, once I actually get it painted and some landscaping around it. We're really turning into a hobby farm. And I'm so here for it, in my element. To be able to produce as much of our own food and not rely on anyone else as much as possible is so liberating and glorious.
A few other things that I've been working on is getting my garden into the ground, which is late compared to last year, because we really didn't have a spring season. It went from freezing cold to summer. I'm dabbling in flowers as well this year, and it's keeping me busy outside. So much so that I'm about 3-4 shades darker than my normal Victorian sick child skin tone. Yesterday we brought home about 45 Cornish broilers to process here in about 8 weeks. I grew up helping my parents butcher their own chickens, and brought my kids to help butcher 100 chickens for a friend at our chapel's house, so they could learn it before we did it ourselves. I may not look it, but I grew up a farm girl, and am not afraid to get my hands dirty.
So, if you're following my blog, I'm still here. Just not sure how to put life into words sometimes. Hopefully, you'll stick with me as I figure it out.